Parenting / Special Needs Parenting

Why is my burden more than I can handle?

Sometimes over the last few years I have wondered why I can’t seem to handle taking care of my own family. It’s a very vulnerable place to be. My son is severely disabled and it affects all areas of our life. There are many moments when I wonder: why me? Why can’t I handle this? Why have I been given something that is SO hard, I can’t handle it by myself?

Today, I think I might have found the answer.

It all started a few months ago when I asked a neighbor girl to watch my son after church on Sundays. I was so relieved when she said yes. Because Sundays are not good days for me. Weekends are hard because my son doesn’t have school and my husband and I get worn out taking care of him all day. So when she said “yes”, I was thrilled that we could get a 2 hour break on Sundays.

Well, after a few months of these Sunday breaks, I’ve realized something: this neighborhood girl watching my kids on Sunday doesn’t just help me and my husband, but I think it helps her and her family too. First, she needs the money. And I’m sure it is giving her valuable experience. But it also seems to be helping her family as well. Her mom says that it gets her kids to stop fighting with each other when they have to watch my son and daughter. It brings the whole family closer together. And anyone that has been around special needs children knows that they exude a certain pure love that brightens anyone’s day.

Hearing this mom talk about all the positive things it is doing for her family makes me wonder: is this one of the reasons why I’ve been given a burden that is too hard to bear on my own? Does God actually intend for it to be SOOO hard that I have to reach out for help from those around me? And in reaching out for help, am I actually helping those around me in ways that I couldn’t otherwise?

I feel like I might be on to something. In the past, I thought the answer to the question of why I couldn’t handle this burden was because there was something wrong with me. I was too weak. I couldn’t handle my life. But I think that God might have a different view of the whole situation. I think he gives us things that are so hard it forces us to reach out to Him and reach out to others around us. In helping others, we help ourselves. It’s a win-win situation.

So if you feel like your current problems and burdens are too big for you, ask yourself these questions:

  • Is there someone who could help me with this burden?
  • How could being humble and asking for help actually bless me and those around me?
  • Is there anyone around me that needs help with their burdens? What can I do this week to help?

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