This post was written April 2026. But I didn’t post it until now.
So in a week we are going on a trip with my 9 year old nonspeaking special needs son. I’m a little worried about it. It’s hard taking care of him at home where we have everything “autism proof” but going into new environments every day and being around people who don’t understand nonverbal autism is a little scary. So I’m going to talk out my fears on here and see if I can get a handle around them.
Fear #1 He will break something at the AirBnb
We will be staying in an Airbnb. I picked out an AirBnb that has minimal decorations and round doorknobs so that we can put our baby locks on them for the two days we will be staying there. Those locks allow us to relax a little. I’ll put a lock on our bedroom and on the bathroom so that we can keep all the tempting items in there (stuff like shampoo, deodorant, soap, etc. My son loves to smear all of those things). But I’m still a little worried that he will break something while I’m not looking.
Fear #2 He will scream a lot at the wedding brunch
We are going to my cousin’s wedding brunch while we are on the trip. And I’m afraid my nonverbal son is going to be disruptive. He will be in a medical stroller/wheelchair so he won’t be about to run around and break things but he could decide to start screaming right when the bride and groom are giving speeches. If that happens, my husband or I will take him out of the room and wait in the hallway. So I don’t think I need to be too afraid of that.
Fear #3 I will get upset
My last fear is that I will get upset and then that will make my husband upset. My husband has a hard time dealing with negative emotions right now. So I kind of feel like I have to be super happy and calm all the time on trips otherwise he will get mad at me. I know this isn’t healthy but it’s just how it is right now. I would love it if my husband were more in control of his emotions and didn’t blame me for causing his feelings, but that just isn’t our reality right now. So I definitely feel some pressure to keep it all together during this trip.
What are my thoughts exactly and how could I tweak them to produce the results I want?
Thought: “I can’t get upset. Otherwise it will ruin the trip.”
Feeling: anxious
Actions: I am on edge. Trying so hard to be happy. Trying to make sure everything is going well. Then I usually get really tired and lose my temper.
Results: I will ruin this trip with this thought pattern and huge expectations.
Alternative Thoughts
Ok, so what could I think instead?
Healthier thought: “It’s totally fine to get upset. I will do the best I can.”
Feeling: acceptance
Actions: I am calmer. Things go wrong. I get upset sometimes. My husband gets upset. But its okay. It’s normal.
Results: We have a normal family trip with some ups and some downs. But I don’t condemn myself for the downs or for getting upset.
How it went
For me, it is SUPER helpful to write out all of my fears and anxieties like this. It helps me to get a handle on them. And it stops them from swirling round and round in my head without having an outlet.
So we went on the trip. It was both good and bad. There were some really great parts. My son did great on the drive there. He did great in the first restaurant we went to. And he slept super well during the entire trip. He also didn’t break anything at the Airbnb!!
There were also some hard moments. Going to a relative’s house was hard because my son wanted to touch everything. He was having a really hard time controlling his body. In the end, I figured out he was hungry! Too bad he couldn’t tell me about it because of his inability to speak. The wedding brunch went okay. My son wanted to touch and break and eat the candles on the tables. So next time I will scout out all wedding receptions and hide any tempting table decorations like candles on the table we decide to sit at. Then I will bring my son in and set him at the table with the tempting items already hidden.
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