With so much to do and so little time, it can be hard to know what things to focus on. Let me suggest 4 key relationships that should be your top priorities. When things get hard or huge challenges pop up, think about slowing down and focusing on these four areas of your life.
Slowing Down instead of Speeding up
When things get hard, sometimes we have a tendency to keep going at the fast pace that we are used to. We try to get things done and accomplish everything on our to-do list so that we can feel better about ourselves. But when things get hard, what you should really do is SLOW DOWN. Nature does it. When trees have a hard year, they don’t grow as much vertically. They halt their growth and focus on surviving. When a plane is in turbulence, it doesn’t speed up to get through it as quickly as possible, it slows down to be able to take the bumps.
If you look at your calendar and every hour is filled with things to do, maybe try to cut back. Try to see how many hours you can plan with nothing to do.
Four Key Relationships
If life is hard for you right now, think about slowing down and focusing on four key relationships:
- Your relationship with God (or a higher power)
- Your relationship with your family
- Your relationship with the people around you (neighbors, friends, coworkers, etc.)
- Your relationship with yourself
These ideas come from Dieter F. Uchtdorf in a talk titled “Of Things that Matter Most”.
Your relationship with God or a higher power
For a lot of people, this might look like more time in prayer or meditation. For people who feel a connection to nature, this might mean more time in nature. However you connect to a higher power, do that.
Lately, I like to talk with God and write down my conversations with him. I ask him questions and then I listen and ideas will flow into my mind that are his answers back to me. I have filled many notebooks with this kind of prayer conversations. I also like this method because it allows me to unload all of my stresses and thoughts from the day and process the emotions that come with them. I have noticed that I sleep a lot better after I have done this.
Your relationship with your family
Love is really spelled “T-I-M-E”. You need to spend time with each member of your family. How can you show them that you love them? What can you take off your plate so that you can have more time for your family?
Kids honestly just want your undivided attention. They want that more that going to expensive theme parks or extravagant vacations. They want to know that you are listening and that you care about what they care about.
Your relationship with others
All humans want to feel that they are part of a community. We are social creatures. So you need to take time to connect with the people around you. It can be in small ways. Saying hi to your neighbors. Going to a community church or community activities. Volunteering at your local nursing home. Connecting with other people in small ways can help fill your cup and help you feel less drained.
Your relationship with yourself
I think this one should be first on your list of priorities. If you don’t take care of yourself, you won’t be able to take care of ANYONE else. So what are you needing right now? Do you need more time to relax? Do you need someone to validate your experience as a human? It’s fun to receive validation from other people, but did you know that you can give yourself that validation? You can just tell yourself “Wow, I see you. I think you are doing a wonderful job. Keep going. I’m going to take care of you. I see all of your efforts and they are appreciated.”
Take care of yourself as if you are someone REALLY important. Most people take better care of their pets or their children than they do of themselves. So pretend that you are responsible for your care and that you are super SPECIAL. You are definitely someone worth taking care of.
Conclusion
When life gets hard, slow down. Take care of yourself. Take care of the people close to you. Don’t try to do so much. Take things off of your to-do list. Say “no” to things – even good things if they are taking up too much of your time.
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