“The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands” is a book by Dr. Laura Schlessinger written for women in heterosexual relationships. I found this book entertaining and informative. It helped me understand my husband more and what he needs to feel loved and appreciated in our relationship.
Men only need a few things
In this book, Dr. Laura speaks mostly to women that are married to good men. Men who have a job, provide well for the family, and don’t abuse their wives. So this advice doesn’t apply to women who are married to jerks. So keep that in mind as you read this summary.
She says that that men only need a few things:
- Praise – tell him about all the little things you appreciate about him. Compliment him often!
- Respect – don’t micromanage him. Give him space and trust. He won’t do things exactly how you want them done, but just deal with it and appreciate his efforts!
- Sex – this tells a man that you love him better than words or gifts or anything else!
Where is your husband on your list of priorities?
Men are simple creatures. They don’t want much. But for many women, their man always seems to come last on their list of to-dos. Many women would do well to think about these questions:
- How much do you give to your kids on a daily basis?
- How much do you give to your girlfriends or community?
- How much time and energy do you give to your husband?
If your husband is always last in line with these 3 questions, then it is no wonder why he might be harboring some resentment.
Don’t expect him to read your mind
Men think differently than women do. Don’t try to force your man to be emotionally available and chit chat about every little thing on their mind. Don’t force your man to be a woman! Appreciate that they are in fact a man and have a different way of viewing things.
Sex communicates to a man that he is loved
Married men want to have sex regularly. Sex makes a man feel loved and appreciated. Having sex will communicate to a man that he is loved and appreciated 10Xs more effectively than telling him those words verbatim.
If you aren’t in the mood, then start it and it will get fun. A man’s sexual pattern goes desire, then arousal, then climax and afterglow. A woman’s sexual pattern often goes like this: arousal, desire, climax, afterglow. So a lot of women don’t want to have sex until after they are aroused. So keep that in mind and try to initiate a little more often than you desire it at first.
You don’t need to be a supermodel to make him happy.
“Men actually find their wives’ bodies attractive, even when they carry a little extra weight.” (p. 124). So don’t worry if you are a little fatter or a little more wrinkly than you used to be. With the right attitude, you can still make your husband extremely happy.
If you treat your man right, he will do anything for you
Your man wants to be your hero. He wants to be the one that you call for help. He wants to be the one that saves you from everything bad in your life and makes you happy. So the one thing that makes a man most frustrated is when his wife is never happy! It is like his life goal is never fulfilled.
Here is a quote from one of Dr. Laura’s male listeners:
“Nothing discourages a man more from trying to be a good husband than the feeling that no matter what he does, his wife won’t be pleased with him. Sadly, I know many men who feel that way. I am grateful for a wife who believes in and appreciates me. The more she tells me how much she loves and respects me, the more I want to do nice things to honor her, and the better I feel about myself. Everybody wins!”
So wives, learn how to be happy. Learn how to stop worrying so much and be content with what you have. That will make your husband so happy and satisfied that he will literally do anything for you.
Did I say anything? Yes, I said anything. If a woman takes really good care of her husband, he will do anything for you.
Conclusion
It’s not hard to take care of your husband when you know what he needs. Praise him – tell him all the things he is doing right. Respect him – don’t mircomanage him. Let him take care of himself. And have sex with him often. This will tell him that you love him. Good luck!
No Comments